BFN

Why is it so much worse to hear it from someone official than to see it on a pregnancy test? I'm use to seeing big fat negatives on home pregnancies tests. I must have peed on a hundred sticks in my time. It doesn't seem to phase me anymore when I don't see a second line. I've only ever seen a second line once and that was only after I was told by my doctor that I was pregnant. I've never experienced the rush of taking a HPT and seeing the two lines show up and finding out that you're pregnant and no one else in the world knows yet. I sorta feel cheated of that glory.

Yet again it has happened. My husband finally caved and let me take a HPT on Monday night. It was negative. Of course, in the back of my head I was thinking..."well, maybe it's just a bit too early yet"..."I had small numbers with Jolie in the beginning too, maybe it isn't showing on the HPT yet"..."the beta will be more conclusive, I'll just wait for that to see where the numbers are". So, ya, even though I got a negative pregnancy test at home, I still had a little bit of hope that it could be wrong.

Turns out it was right. I had my beta today and it was negative. The nurse said that the HCG was less than 2. You can't get much more negative than that! Oh well, here we go again. I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to do another FET. Looks like it'll be sooner than I would have liked.

I'm to stop taking my drugs today and wait for my period. As soon as she comes, I will tell the fertility clinic and we will start the next frozen embryo cycle. Good thing I still have 5 snowbabies left cuz I'm definitely not doing another fresh cycle again.

It's amazing how already having a child changes your perspective on life. I'm so lucky to have one beautiful child that puts a smile on my face every day. She is a true miracle. Our first little IVF miracle. Let's pray that I get the chance to have another one...